Role Models

I realized something today.

I realized that I'm a very lucky person. Especially in one aspect of my life.

ROLE MODELS

Some people don't have anyone to look up to. Some people have the wrong kind of people to look up to. I, however, am blessed in that I have a lot of good people as mentors.

People who always have time to talk to me.
People who constantly give me advice, and make me feel loved.
People who give me hope that I can continue to do what I love without losing myself.

These people influence my life in ways that I don't think they realize. I hope they know that I will forever be grateful to them.

Life is good.

Tired

Today, I am tired.

I don't feel like a good person. I don't feel like a good stage manager. I don't feel like a good anything. I don't even feel healthy. (I have a cold that won't go away)

I hate days like these.

Days where doubts seem to have creeped in and won't go away.

Why can't I just keep my confidence?
Why can't I feel good about myself all the time?

Sometimes I forget that this life is about constant improvement. I can't just reach one level and think that since I am where I'm supposed to be I can stop working. That's the easiest way to fall back down.

Tomorrow will be a better day. One filled with love, happiness, and improvement.

And hopefully a resorted belief in my life and skills.

Summer!

I have a lot of things going on this summer. Let me list them for you in chronological order:

1. Funny Girl auditions/rehearsals start (auditions this week, rehearsals in two weeks)
2. Spring classes start (April 27th)
3. Tuesday's With Morrie rehearsals start (May 3rd)
4. My long awaited jaw surgery! (May 5th)
5. Recovery from my long awaited jaw surgery (Probably about 2 months to full recovery)
6. Finish my first sound design (June)
7. Tuesday's With Morrie tech and Education week run (August)
8. Fall semester starts (My last fall semester!)

Woo! Thinking about it makes me tired. It's going to be one of those periods when I have to take things one day at a time.

Speaking of tired, I realized something today. I went the whole day without feeling like I needed to drop into bed in the middle of it! I can't even remember the last time that happened. I hope this keeps up, I could definitely put the extra energy to good use.

So....

I have nothing really t0 talk about. As You Like It is over, and I'm starting two new shows. Tuesday's With Morrie (BYU), and Funny Girl (SCERA Theatre in Orem).

Despite (or maybe because of) the difficulties that I had on As You Like It I am so ready to move on and start something new!

It's kind of strange how I don't get bored of stage managing. Usually I get bored of everything, but I've been doing this for four years and I still feel great about it.

Also, this week has been awesome because I've been able to sleep a LOT. I finally feel as though I'm getting over this stupid mono that has been plaguing me for four months.

In short, all is well. And I'm really looking forward to spring!

A Lesson I Have Learned.

Here's the thing everyone (all three of you):

It doesn't matter what people think.

That does not mean that you should just give up and treat people however you want. Because of course you should always try to be the best person you can! Of course you should always try to lift others up, and be of service to everyone! And of course you should always, always, ALWAYS try to become better!

But here's the thing. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you. That's a fact of life, unfortunately. Not everyone liked Jesus, and he was more perfect than anyone who's ever been on this Earth. And if Jesus can't win everyone over, what chance do I have?

I also realized that the one persons opinion that I should be worried about is the Lord's. If I'm on good terms with him, then I know that I will be fine.

I was so overwhelmed with the love that I felt from Him today as I realized this. He is with me always. He knows me. He loves me. And I am so blessed because of it.

All I can do is be the best person that I know how to be, and trust that everything else (with everyone else) will work out.

As You Like It

Performances for As You Like It start tonight! Check it out! Get tickets at byuarts.com!

Random

Sometimes I want to be the person in the movies that gets to stand on the edge of the cliff, throw their arms out, and just breath.

In, and out.

Maybe throw a handkerchief artistically into the wind.

That is all.

Busy, busy, busy

As You Like It (my current show) is moving forward. We move onstage this week (yay!) and we tech next week (also yay!) and then we open the week after that.

About a week after As You Like It closes, I start stage managing a show for the SCERA theatre in Provo. I'm excited for this show because 1. I like the director, and 2. They're PAYING me. I feel so legit right now.

Then, after that show closes, rehearsals for my next BYU show starts (Tuesdays with Morrie). Which I'm also excited about because 1. I like the director :), and 2. A good friend of mine is in the show, 3. It's going to be a smaller show, which will be a nice break after working 2 big shows in a row.

And finally, I'll finish off my college stage management career with stage managing the big deJong musical of the year for BYU (Peter Pan!! Yay!!).

After that, I graduate and wander off the beaten path into the unknown (how's that for being melodramatic! :).

I'll be honest, I'm both excited about this, and freaked out. On one hand, I'm ready to be out and away and on my own.

On the other hand, school is all I've known. I'm not sure I know how to be a real person.

Ahhh, change is hard!

Elder Steven E. Snow says that:
"Too often we are reluctant to enter the next stage, begin the next challenge. Maybe we are too comfortable, fearful, or lacking in faith. Grandmother’s lap is often more comfortable than the trials of kindergarten. Our parents’ basement, with unlimited video games, may be more appealing than college, marriage, or a career."

When I get comfortable, I don't like change.

But I do believe that it is a good thing.

I believe that if you keep the faith over the fear you will be blessed. D&C 61:36 states "Be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you".

Life is good, growing up is good, change is good. And God is with me.

What more could a girl ask for?

Hobbies

Somebody asked me the other day what my hobbies were, and I didn't have an answer for him. I honestly couldn't think of anything. I go to school, I work, and I stage manage. If I have time during the day, I read books.

I must have had hobbies at one point in time. I just can't remember what they were.

I recently had a great conversation with several people that I work with. My boss had to give a talk to the relief society of his ward about self esteem, and the point was raised that a lot of the time, girls lose themselves because they are so focused on other things.

And so, I wonder if college has caused me to lose myself. I got so busy I forgot that I needed something besides work in my life.

I don't feel lost, but then again I don't feel particularly found either.

My home teachers issued my room mate and I challenge this month, that we both follow our impulses in a certain area (of our choice) in our life. So, I'm going to find some hobbies......


Anyone have any idea where I can look?

Why I Do What I Do

So, whilst taking a break at our rehearsal a couple nights ago a cast member of mine asked me a very interesting question:

"Why do you stage manage?" He asked, "you get almost no recognition, you work more than everyone else, and while you're in school you don't even get paid for it."

And, instead of blowing it off like I normally do when someone asks me that question, I actually stopped and thought about it.

Why do I stage manage? It is a hard, and sometimes thankless job. It's like adding a second job that I don't get paid for onto my schedule. It's frustrating at times, exhausting at times, and it's genuinely hard to do. So why do I keep on doing it??

"Because" a tiny little voice said to me "because of those exact reasons!"

I stage manage because of the emotional connection that theater gives to people. I love being right in the center of that. I love knowing that I played a part in making people laugh, or cry, or understand a concept that they failed to realize before.

Yes, my job is hard, but since when is anything worth having easy? Why would I do anything that's easy? Easy doesn't get you anywhere. We weren't sent to this earth to take the easy road, that's not the point of our existence.

Stage managing doesn't come easy to me. I feel like I fail at is as often as I succeed. But I love doing what I do so much that I'm willing to keep pushing myself to be better.

So, I guess you could say that I stage manage because it's hard. And because easy is boring.

Office Supplies

I have a secret fettish for office supplies.

I don't know why, but post-it's are one of my favorite thing in the world. I got 15 packs of them for Christmas!

One of my good friends continually surprises me with little packs of office supplies, just because she knows I like them. She gave me 3 kinds of post-its for my birthday, and she gave me paper clips for Christmas. Every once in a while, I'll be walking in the building I work at on campus, and a random box of some random office supply will hit me in the head and I know it's because she wants to tell me she likes me. (she NEVER misses my head, this girl has better aim than a sniper. )

I also love sharpie markers. I have a whole bag of them in my stage manager's kit. Every time I see a pack in the store I have to restrain myself from buying the colors I don't have yet.

Also, pen shopping is my favorite thing about starting a new school year.

....... Is that weird??

I love Christmas, and am sad that it's over.
I am happy, however, that I get to spend another week in St George with my family.
I am also happy that I'm starting a new show (Shakespeare's As You Like It) up at BYU in about a week.
I'm happy to be starting a new semester (only 3 left before graduation!), and I'm happy about last semester, it was a good one.
I'm happy that I'm starting a new job this next semester (I get to work with a lot of cool people)
In short, I'm a pretty happy person right now.

Life is good. That is all (for now, more to come promise!).

I believe.......

in the healing power of a good action movie

that everyone deserves a Christmas

in the LDS church (perhaps this one should be first)

in never. ever. giving up.

that hard times and trials suck, but they do make us stronger.

that feeling beautiful can change your entire day.

that making others feel beautiful can change your whole life.

Not Me Tuesday.

So I've given up on the whole Monday thing, ok?

I definitely did not secretly lose my temper at someone today and have to leave the room before I screamed at that person.

I so totally did not, once again, sleep in rather than getting up when my alarm went off. I also didn't unplug my alarm clock because the sound it was making was annoying me.

I totally called my mom today while walking on campus instead of listening to my ipod. And, I didn't have a rationalization that involved me thinking that it took less energy to listen to music than talk to my family.

Happy Thanksgiving all! Enjoy the break!

Sleep

You know what I really like? Sleep. You know what I don't like? When I can't sleep. The latter happens far to often to suit me. Take tonight for instance, it isn't that I'm not tired. Because I am, I really really am. I just lay down to go to sleep, and nothing happens. When I talk about my insomnia to other people, the only way I can describe my inability to sleep is that when I lay down, my thoughts are too loud in my head. I can't lower the volume of what's going on in my own head enough to fall asleep.

Moral of this post..... It's 2am, I can't sleep, and I have to be to work at 8am. Awesome.

An Update

So...... It's been awhile, I know. It's only because I had about 50 billion things to do. But, now that I've got a few minutes, instead of catching up on homework like I should, I figured I'd give an update.

The first update is this: The Taffetas officially closed this week! It's a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I've got more free time, bad because I no longer get to hang out with some of the coolest people I know every night. This show was so wonderful, and I had such a great time. Cut open legs aside, this really was a very fun show to stage manage.

Second update: School started a couple weeks ago. I'm enjoying my classes so far, though the one at 8am is kind of killing me a little bit.

And now, some pictures!

This is Kerilyn (Kaye) and me, posing right before the show started.
These are my girls (I call them my girls even though they're all older than me) signing the pictures that they give out during the show. We usually gave out 4 each night, but at the last show we gave out about 40.And two members of our wonderful band! (Cori doesn't always look this grumpy, she just hated when I took pictures of her)
And this is me and my absolutely wonderful assistant stage manager:And finally, this is everyone! Our full cast and band, the director and me and my assistant.

TheTaffetas

So, I've got another show opening in about 2 1/2 weeks up at BYU, and you should all buy tickets and come see it.

Longer post later.

Mistakes

I think you should be proud of the mistakes you made, not because you made them, but because you recognize that they're mistakes and have therefore learned from them.

I remember.....

When I thought the sun was the size of a basketball, and was inside the earth.

When I thought a quarter was a lot of money.

When a can of soda was too much for me to drink.

When I thought "shut-up" was a really bad word.

When I thought I could catch a spark from a firework in my hand and wear it in my hair. (True story! I was a weird child....)

'Tis the season......

...... for marriages. I just had two of my friends get engaged.... within one week of each other. Two? You may be asking yourself.... But Lindsi! That isn't an unreasonable number, and the time period could surely be a fluke...... Until you factor in the other 4 previously engaged couples that I know who's weddings are taking place this month. You know what that means? It means I've got one wedding to attend every weekend this month. Is it any wonder I'm getting a little tired of pastel colored tulle and little tiny packets of rice?