more pictures....

Las Vegas

I had the wonderful opportunity to spend a week in Las Vegas. Divine Comedy went there to perform, and it was a ton of fun. Some highlight include:
1. Blue Man Group
2. Spamalot
3. Having Blue Man Group welcome us on their scrolling Marquee
4. Having a great Second City show
5. Having a great talk with someone who is very special, and feeling a little better about myself and the situation I'm in right now.
6.Spending several hours on the strip with great friends
7. Riding one of the most intense rollercoasters I've ever ridden
8. Eating great food
9. Spending lots of time with people I really enjoy
10. Tired Kabe (my favorite kind of Kabe!)
11. Getting to know one of our advisers a little better. It's wonderful to know I've got someone on my side George.

And now.... Some pictures!

It seems that no matter how hard I try, I can't get the little voice of doubt out of my head. You know the one. It's always whispering about how no one likes you, your friends are talking about you behind your back, that you look ugly in that shirt, you put on too much makeup, you didn't put on enough makeup, your hair looks horrible, and what in the world made you think you could keep up with everything you have going on in your life right now?
Does everyone have a voice like that? Or, more specifically, does everyone have as a hard a time as I do telling it to shut up? Human beings as a whole have a hard time accepting themselves for who they are, I know that, but I wonder why? Why is that? Why are people so set on believing the worst about themselves? We're children of a God so powerful he knows everything and can do anything! We should be reaching our full capacity as sons and daughters of a God, and amazing ourselves as we realize our limitless potential. Instead, we clip our own wings and spend most of our time convincing ourselves of what we can't do.
And still, even as I write this, even though I'm convinced that what I wrote is true; that voice is still whispering away in the back of my head, trying to convince me that I am nothing more than completely ordinary........

You can honk all you want, I'm still not going to go any faster.

The lastest ailment my car is suffering from: burned-out clutch. At least, that's what we think it is. I shouldn't really be surprised, I guess, because my car is 15 years old. It's just annoying because I can't go any faster than 20 miles an hour. And hills? My car sits at the bottom and laughs at me. That means I'm stuck in my apartment until further notice. Great. This is fun.

The Pursuit of IT

As a cashier, I've seen many sorts of people walk through my line.
There are the newlyweds, who are obviously buying groceries together for the first time, as they are extremely sentimental about which groceries they buy, and usually have large orders.
The food stamp people, who anger me sometimes when they come in and all they buy is soda and candy.
The older ladies, who are so shaky we sometimes have to fill out their checks for them, and who almost always pay in pennies. ( I don't really mind though because they are sweet, and nice.)
Then are the old couples who come in holding hands, as if to shout to the whole world "WE MADE IT! 50% divorce rate and 50 years of blood, sweat, and tears later WE STILL HAVE IT!" They are the couples who have seen hard times, lived through death, sweat, and tears, and still have IT. That one thing that separates the happy from the miserable. The hope that if life isn't good now, it will be soon. If we've had a bad day, tomorrow is a new one. IT is something that everyone can have, but I've discovered not very many people do. My new goal: to achieve IT.
So, if I sometimes don't have as much money as I wish, it's okay. I've got enough to live. I sometimes spend so much of my time worrying about the stuff I don't have, I forget what I do. I've got friends who will stay up until 2-3 am helping me study for tests. I've got room mates that make me laugh so hard, I can't breathe. I've got a family that I miss, and that misses me too. I've got a job. I've gotten a wonderful opportunity to develop new skills, and work with some of the most amazing, wonderful, funny people I've EVER met. IT doesn't hide from me, or anyone, IT is just waiting to be recognized.

No Sleep for Me....

This past week has been.... Weird. My sleep schedule has always been weird, it's always seemed like I need more sleep than everyone else, and that I can't get to sleep until much later than everyone. Well, this pattern of behavior enhances with stress, and due to a very stressful week, I didn't sleep. Period. Almost none at all. This was followed by an exhausted me stumbling into the doctors office, being lectured for a half hour on "good sleep habits" and leaving with a prescription for a mild sleep aid. It helps. The past few days I've been in bed by midnight because I was sleepy, but it still takes me forever to fall asleep. I don't get it! I'm missing classes, because the meds make me so sleepy I sleep through my alarm. But it's better than not sleeping, which is a silver lining due to the fact that I'm failing my classes.... Okay, that was an exaggeration, but I am really far behind, and it's scaring me. To sleep, or not to sleep? That truly is a good question.....

An obsession of mine....

Just found out they cast the Cullen family in the Twilight movie. I personally love the people they chose, and am very happy (not that my opinion REALLY matters). Those who are fans of the books can probably guess who plays who, but I'll tell you anyway. (from left to right) Emmet, Rosalie, Esme, Edward, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper.

I never said it would be easy....

Dear Siovhan,

I admit that life has taken a downward spiral for you lately. Loads of crap have been shoved your way, and you are handling it wonderfully. Be strong, my friend, see the beauty in life, and know that you are loved by tons of people. This is for you....

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win but think you can't,
It's almost certain you won't.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster person,
But sooner or later, the person who wins
Is the person who thinks she can.

Divine Comedy

Just a quick plug here- I work as stage manager for BYU's premiere sketch comedy group, called Divine Comedy. Anyway, they've recently put some of their sketches on youtube, so if you guys want to visit youtube, and type in BYU Divine Comedy, you'll be able to take a glance at what I do. I make all props and costumes, and keep things organized, and I've been known to dance on stage in between skits a time or two. :)

things you cannot (or have trouble doing) with a splint on your hand

- open cars doors
- eat
- find a comfortable sleeping position
- get a can of soda out of a vending machine
- button/unbutton buttons
- take a jacket off
- glue feathers to a blender (long story)
- wash your hair
- type
- turn pages in a magazine/book
-millions of other things that I'm sure I'm going to encounter before I can take this stupid thing off.

Just a little side note, I was moving stuff for Divine Comedy and jammed my finger into a wall. It didn't hurt that much at the time, but after having it ache off and on during the night, and waking up to find that they had swollen to double the size, and turned a nice shade of purpley-blue, I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. A hour and a half and a bunch of x-rays later, it was determined that my knuckle was not broken (thank goodness!) but was sprained. (Yup, a sprained knuckle, figure that one out). So, I got a really cool splint, instructions to ice it 4 times a day for 20 minutes, and was out the door.
In short, I'm really grateful it isn't broken, but annoyed because this couldn't have come at a worse time. A DC show in a week, and i need my hand!!!

My Wonderful Roomates...

Okay, let me just take a second to tell everyone just how wonderful my roommates are.

Siovhan- I knew we were soul mates even before our astrological signs told us so. You are seriously one of the most wonderful people I know, and you put up with a LOT from me. Thanks for dealing with my sleep talking, sleep screaming, and sleep pillow case removing. Although, I'm not so much afraid of your desk eating me as I am about our closet exploding and burying us in clothes and shoes one night. Although, being suffocated by your clothes may not be the worst thing in the world, because you do have great taste. As long as there's some shoes mixed in there, I'm good.

Molly- I personally believe that Molly is, like, the coolest person out of, like, all of the U.S. Americans, and that as such, all other countries such as The Iraq and South Africa should be jealous that, like, they don't have a room mate like Molly. Dance magic dance!!! This for entertaining me with your cool dance moves, and letting me record them on my phone. Of course, you may not even realize what videos I have...... Oh, and for co-introducing me to One Tree Hill!

Melissa- One sentence comes to mind when I think of you. "Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove." My love for you will last forever babe! Thanks for the hugs, the One Tree Hill, and all the sprinkles ;). Thanks for being excited when ever I go places with you guys, and for making me feel welcome when I first moved in. Whenever I see you, I know that I will shortly forget my problems and will be laughing. Oh, and you are definitely the HOTTEST Peter Pan I've ever seen.


Andrea and Megan- You moved in a week ago, so I don't really know you that well, but from what I've seen (and heard) around the apartment, you girls are definitely cool enough to be hanging out with me ;).

Very Photogenic Sister

I've got a very photogenic sister...

I'm going home!!!!

I am SO EXCITED that I finally get a few days off to go home for Christmas. I've had some trouble at work lately, and getting away from all that seems like a wonderful thing right now. Speaking of getting away, I've got to go pack.

The end of my teenage years

When did I become an adult? It seems to me that it snuck up on me pretty quickly. One day I'm yelling at my brother because he decapitated my favorite doll, and the next I'm at college, living on my own, and paying my own way. I remember when the only thing I had to worry about was whether or not we were having brussel sprouts for dinner. I'm not sad that I'm growing up... More nostalgic. I look at my younger brothers and sisters, and find myself wishing that they would take more time to grow up.
I'm still pretty excited about turning 20 though!

Lindsi is....

Not tired even though it's 1:30 am
Excited (and nervous!) about making her first 3 layer cake tomorrow
Turning 20 in 5 days!
Totally addicted to Dr. Pepper
Loving the fact that she has so many people who care about her
Listening to some great music!
A little scared about the birthday presents that her room mates are giving her..... They won't tell me what it is!!!
Happy about her party tomorrow

Lindsi is.....
Really lucky, really happy, and glad to be where she is

Sleep Deprived

That's basically what I've been feeling like for the past two weeks. My sleep schedule is so erratic that some nights I'll only get 5-6 hours sleep (sometimes less) and then when I do have the chance to sleep, I sleep for almost 10 hours. Which causes a lot of problems including occasionally missing class.... NOT GOOD. I need someone who will pull me out of bed once I shut my alarm clock off.

Moving...

Moving really CAN be fun! Mary, I think that Rachel will forever be wondering what happened to the left sleeves of all her shirts. Sarah and Tomoser will forever be on my good list for coming over at midnight and helping me set up my bed. And I'm also seriously considering painting a modest shirt on the girl in the poster (whom Nick named "Janet" I believe.) Thanks for the help everyone!

Valuable Lessons

Things I have learned this month:

- For every person that dislikes you, there are two that love you
- Laughter really is the best medicine, but like all medicine, sometimes it doesn't work like it should.
- Counting your blessings is a major pain when you're determined to be depressed
- You feel better after counting your blessings :)
- Music makes a bad day better
- Speaking in anger gets you nowhere
- I am often times WAY too self consious
- I need to get over being WAY too self consious

- I have many flaws, most of which I'm sure I'm still unaware of

And last but not least

-No matter how bad of a day I've had, and no matter how bad I mess up..... I AM LOVED!

A new month may be a better one.

Okay, I'm not going to lie.... September really was NOT all that great this year. Mean room mates, evil co-workers, and nasty rumors really messed up these past 30 days for me. I truly am grateful for the friends I have though. I couldn't have made it through without Brittany (who is constantly reminding me that I need to breathe). Trevor, who is always willing to make plans with me and take me out to dinner (no matter how many times I cancel!) Denise, who is always willing to listen, Laurel and Brian, thanks for understanding and offering couches and futons in my time of need, and Tennille, who is always there with a quick hug for the downtrodden. I love you all and I don't think I could have made it through these past few weeks without you!
So, I am dying to take some pictures. The only problem is that I've gotten into the habit of taking them all on slide film, because that's what my visual arts application portfolio has to be in, and slide film is kind of expensive. (sigh) oh well, I'll just have to wait until I've got some money.... I may be waiting awhile.....

WHY?

So... We've got this new cake decorater at work that I'm trying to train. I say trying because she never listens to me. I tell her what to do, how to do it, and let her loose, and she just rolls her eyes and does whatever she wants. I really do not like people like that. I had a feeling that she wouldn't last long..... Well....
It all escalated a few days ago when I asked her to set up some freezer cakes. These are really easy cakes to make, and she knows how to do them, so I let her loose. Her only restrictions were that she make 6 quarter sheet cakes, and 6 half sheet cakes. While icing the cakes, I noticed that she was having problems getting the icing down to the bottom of her bag. I told her that if she simply twisted the bag while pushing down, it would come down a lot easier. She once again rolled her eyes and ignored me. So, getting really tired of all the eye rolling, I turned to her and said. (Nicely... I PROMISE!!!) "you know, I'm just trying to teach you what I know, you really can't get mad at me for that." Well, she didn't like that very much and proceded to yell at me about it. She ended up storming out, and now she refuses to work with me.
I honestly don't get it. I was never mean to her, never rude.... Never ANYTHING except perfectly nice! What makes her think that getting mad at me is going to solve anything? Why is it that people are like that? Where does it get them? Honestly, being rude never gets you anywhere. All it does is make you less of a person in everyone's sight. I'll tell you right now, that the people you remember in 10, 20, or 50 years aren't going to be the one's that are mean to you. You're going to remember the people that helped you, or that loved you. (I'm now taking a deep breath, and releasing the anger that has built up.)