Not Me Monday

I definitely didn't forget to turn up the volume on my alarm clock, which in turn definitely didn't make me wake up an hour and a half later than I was supposed to.

There's no way I would EVER consider taking some money out of my hard earned savings to go see Transformers 2. I'm totally aware that I would regret it later, after I was done rotting my brain with mind-numbing action awesomeness.

I definitely didn't stay up until 4am. I so totally went to bed at a decent hour last night, and it's amazing how awake and alert I feel right now. Not at all like I lack any and all strength.

Michael Jackson

I know a lot of people didn't like him. A lot of people thought he was creepy, and strange. On some level I agree with them. He certainly wasn't ordinary, in his life or with his music. Despite what you think about him, everyone must admit that his talent was extraordinary. He must have loved music, and he must have worked hard. I say this because no one, no matter how talented, can achieve anything unless they're willing to work for it.

People often underestimate the power of music. They forget the effect that it has on people. How a song with a good message can lift us up. How a powerful score can literally make a movie. The memories that go with a certain song are some of the most powerful I have.

I respected Michael Jackson because his music was so powerful. He could take one song and make it reach all people, no matter their age, race, or nationality. That is a talent that deserves respect, and no has ever been able to do it again.

And so we say good-bye to a man who truly deserved the title "King of Pop" because everyone must admit that no matter what allegations followed him, his music will live forever. Because that's just how good it is.

I Miss....

- My family

- Being around people that I don't have to hide from.

- Laurel Sandberg-Armstrong (and her husband Nathan)

- A fast internet connection

- New episodes of The Office, Supernatural, Scrubs, and Ugly Betty

- Being in school (though you'll never actually hear me saying that one out loud)

- My family

My Mom and Dad

(I'm a late for Mother's Day, and early for Father's Day.... Oh well)

I love my parents. They are the best example of the kind of person that I hope to be someday. My mother has more patience than anyone I've ever known, she's such a great listener and is always willing to listen to me as I rant about people over the phone. And my dad is so full of understanding and love, he can pick me up off the floor when I'm feeling discouraged and make me feel better about what I'm doing, and where I am in life.

They are the reason I go here:


And they're the reason I'm able to stay sane through all of this:


I want nothing more than to make them proud of me. That's part of the reason I went to college, and it's the main reason I work so hard while I'm here. I'm so glad that I never went through a teenage-angsty thing where I stopped listening to my parents. They gave me great advice all throughout my teenage years, and they continue to do so.

Thank you for teaching me correct principles, and then letting me explore and test them. I know it was hard to watch me make mistakes, but I'm a stronger person now because of it.

Thank you both for everything you've done. For every sacrifice (and there were a lot!) and for every midnight phone call, emergency fund deposits, and (most of all) for all of the prayers, and spiritual support.

I love you both more than I can say.

Never Neverland (Fly Away)

She'd tell me 'bout Captain Hook and all of his men
Who followed Peter with with a hook replaced as his hand
In those tales, bad guys never did win,
So the Captain was eaten and Wendy had twins
Well that was the story as I recall
But I may have made up the end
Don't remember much at three feet tall
Except for when I'd say,
"Mom, let me go to Never Neverland
Let me fly for one day
And throw that fairy dust in my hair
So I'll pretend I'm flying away"
I'm flying away
Well to my surprise, I grew up too fast,
And that easy life of Tinkerbell never did last
So I silently dream myself far, far away
That I would be immortalized like Peter one day
And that's my childhood as I recall
Though in some ways in some ways it never did end
And now I'm standing a little bit taller
Except for when I say,
"Mom, let me go to Never Neverland
Let me fly for one day
And throw that fairy dust in my hair
So I'll pretend I'm flying away"
I'm flying away
And though life is never easy as we as children read in the books
Where fairy dust could just fly you so far away
All I ask is that you leave me my imagination
So I can pretend I'm flying away
I'm flying away
And that is where I stay
Right there in Never Neverland
I'd be flying, I'd be dying
For love and appreciation
Where mermaids would sing
And fairies would ring
Right down there in Never Neverland
And it's second to the left and straight on 'til morning
Or was it second to the right and straight on 'til morning?
In Never Neverland
In my Never Neverland

I found this song while reading this blog. It reminds me of a time when there were less things to worry about, of a time when entertainment came in the form of tea parties and imaginary friends (mine, apparently, was a bear).

Childhood is the Never Neverland of our lives. While we're there we don't appreciate it, and once we leave we can't go back. And while growing up has it's own adventures, I think there's a part in all of us that wish we could remember how to get back to Never Neverland.

Who knew it could be so simple?!

Saw someone driving while eating cotton candy. I now believe that if more people do this, the general happiness of the population would increase so much, all war would end. That's right my friends, cotton candy could totally be the cause of world peace!

Dear Life

Dear Job-
I like you much better than I liked my other one. Getting experience in theater and getting apid for it is one of the best things ever.

Dear New Apartment-
I like that you're bigger, i like that I have my own bathroom. I don't like the slow internet connection or the fact that I have to walk up a lot of steep stairs to get to campus.

Dear New Boots-
You are wonderful, and also 50 percent off. What else do I need to say?

Dear Insomnia-
Go away. Now. I would like to sleep, because I've got to be up in a couple of short hours.

Dear Disneyland-
19 DAYS!!!!

And finally-

Dear Life-
I'm so supremely blessed. I've got a job when many people don't, a home when many people are sleeping in the streets, and a loving, kind, wonderful family when so many people are alone. Life, you've been good to me, and I'm grateful. I'm also blessed to have the knowledge that I'm a daughter of God, a fact that is sometimes the only good thing I have to hold onto. Thank you to everyone who is part of my life. I love and appreciate you all.

Top 10 Pet Peeves

1. People who try to sing in the car when they don't know the words. Especially in my car, for some reason.

2. People who touch me too much. Sounds weird, but I am not a touchy person.

3. Those little ceramic collectible kittens. It's their shifty eyes. It may also have something to do with Dolores Umbridge and the fifth Harry Potter book.

4. People who complain about Utah. Unless you've lived here your whole life, (and in more than just Provo) you haven't earned the right. Period.

5. Really bad mystery novels.

6. A slow internet connection.

7. Irresponsibility

8. Forgetfulness

9. People who talk on their cell phone while I'm trying to sleep.

10. People who call me, and then don't leave a message.

Music Review #2- Marie Digby

Marie Digby's album can be summed up in two words: High School. Talking about eating under the bleachers at lunch, and living with your boyfriend in the same CD creates a very disjointed album, with you getting very confused as to the demographic she's shooting for. Considering how she wrote or co-wrote 11 of the 12 songs, I think that the feel we get from her personality is that she's got a bit of growing up to do before she'll make an album that has more than a hint of originality.

That being said, her album isn't all bad. Her most commercial single (Say It Again) also serves as the best of the CD. Miss Invisible also shows some promise, only being ruined by the aforementioned high school references.

Those who like Mandy Moore will also probably like Marie Digby, their vocals are very similiar as are their song styles. They even look similar. All Marie really needs now is a starring part in a movie that will develope a cult following. Oh, she should probably sing the main songs on the soundtrack too, just for good measure.

Album Overview: All around, her mixed lyrics make for a disjointed album that hardly anyone would find likeable all the way through.

Download: Say It Again
Skip: Everything else

SUMMER!

School is over for the summer FINALLY! It was a relatively painless process, I have to admit, although my stress level shot through the roof. And finals week this year was the easiest I've ever had because I don't have any actual tests, just final projects. Also, I'm moving into a great new apartment with a wonderful person. I'm so excited to get into a newer, bigger place. It isn't that I don't like my roommates, I actually really do, but I just feel so crowded living with 5 other girls. My new apartment only has 4 girls (instead of 6), plus a washer and dryer in the apartment. I can't tell you how excited I am! Plus, my mom and dad are coming up to help me, which will be wonderful because I've been dying to see them.
Also, spring is finally taking a hold, and this weird weather seems to be stabilizing, giving us perfect weather. (How long it will stay this perfect temperature remains to be seen.) However, since I have a rare free day on Tuesday, I think I'll drive up the canyon and look at all of the new green-growy things.

Not Me Monday

Dang it, late again. Oh well.....

I definitely didn't forget to set my alarm last night, which definitely didn't leave me with only 10 minutes to get ready this morning.

I definitely didn't leave a big project that's due tomorrow until tonight. And I'm definitely not going to bed with it only half finished.

There's no way I haven't even started packing even though I'm moving in 2 weeks. And I've already found all the boxes I could ever need too.

And finally, I'm far too responsible to even consider just going to bed, and pulling the covers over my head until the end of finals week. Not me, I wouldn't do that.....

Forms Of The Truth

My mother was a high priestess,
set between the moon and the sun
She said who'll stand with me,
for all the sinners to see
an example of what can be done.

I said Mom I'm a sinner
and I'm proud of all the things that I've done.
Dip them all in chocolate and I've eaten them one by one,
and I weigh all of myself against you.

I don't know why I follow, cause I knew
that in the quietest moments
I could see right through
many elaborate forms of the truth

Oh dear high priestess
come down from moon and the sun
cause you are just a woman,
and I have grown into one
And I've weighed all of myself against you

I don't know why I followed cause I knew
that in the quietest moments
I could see right through
many elaborate forms of the truth

Music Review #1

I've been debating about whether or not to do this for awhile; actually the reason I haven't is because I have an innate fear of sounding too presumptuous. I certainly don't know everything about music, but I do know what I like, and what is good music versus what is popular. Plus, I'm always looking for good music, and I know there are some people out there who are also doing just that. So here it goes.... My first couple of CD reviews......


Lenka is one of my new favorite artists. Unlike most new artists, who think that their music must be dark to be meaningful Lenka breaks that mold by showing us the exact opposite. The Show was the first single released off of the CD, and while it isn't the best song of the CD (that title belongs to Bring Me Down, a surprisingly upbeat breakup song) it provides a great overview of what you're going to get by listening to this CD.
For a first album, this one is surprisingly polished, and while Lenka's vocals aren't exactly one of a kind (to someone who's never heard her before, you may mistake her for Regina Spektor) what her voice lacks she more than makes up for in song originality, especially in the folk-inspired Force of Nature, a tune that could have easily sounded far too overdone is instead refreshingly original.
A solid start to what is sure to be a great career, this album is a must for anyone who enjoys alternative pop.
Download: The Show, Bring Me Down, Live Like You're Dying, Force of Nature
Skip: Nothing. Every song on this album is worth a listen.


Erin McCarley (also a new face in the music scene), brings a lot to the table with her first album. While listening to it, one can imagine that her childhood was very sheltered and once reality set in, she recieved a couple of royal smack downs. With lyrics like ...O wise one, if you're such a someone, why do you give nothing to anyone? one has to wonder what kind of disfunctional relationship she was in that inspired such hate.
But don't judge a CD by it's lyrics, because while one might think that her lyrics might best go to a hard rock tune Erin McCarley manages to shake things up by keeping all of her tunes surprisingly light.
It's a good CD, and it provides a promising start to her career; but her songs tend to sort of blend together, and while her lyrics are memorable I had trouble remembering what lyrics belonged to which songs. Her melodies also tend to blend, which makes it hard to remember any songs in general, and the title track Love, Save The Empty is probably the best song/most memorable of the CD.
Her jazzy, breathy voice stands out because her CD doesn't sound engineered like so many pop singers do today (Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan anyone?), and I would love to go to her concert to see what she sounds like outside the studio.
Download: Love, Save The Empty; Blue Suitcase; Pony (It's OK); Hello/Goodbye; Pitter-Pat
Skip: Sticky-Sweet; Gotta Figure This Out

Dreams

Yesterday I had a dream that someone didn't think I was good enough to be a professional stage manager. I woke up literally in a cold sweat, because the thought of failing at what I've chosen as a profession terrifies me. And the truth is I don't know if I can do it. I certainly don't want to fail, but then, who does? Failure usually isn't expected, and I don't think it's ever welcome, and yet, it happens. And I'm so scared that it's going to happen to me.

Don't get me wrong, I want this. More than anything I want to be a college graduate; and I have worked too hard to just give up.

Giving up isn't an option; so why do I still have this little voice in my head telling me that everything will be better if I just run and hide?

I love spring. Especially up in Provo where it lasts longer than a week, unlike down in St. George. This is the time of year when you can walk to school while listening to your iPod, or drive up the canyon with a few friends just to enjoy the weather while blaring music. Don't get me wrong, Winter is nice for a few reasons, but Spring brings light and color back into a world that Winter turned gray.

Dear Life-

I recently discovered this blog a few weeks ago through a mutual friend of ours, and it blows my mind. This couple lost their daughter several months ago because she choked on a piece of apple, and this couple's strength in the face of such a huge trial amazes and sustains me. I've never read anything written by someone who is so much pain, and yet who refuses to give up their belief in the Church.
The pain that they are currently facing is palpable in every word posted, and they end practically every post with a picture of the daughter they lost. They cling to each other with the knowledge that they will see her again when they leave this mortal world, and that is what keeps them going.
I don't really know why I'm posting about this couple whom I hardly know, and who don't know me at all, except to spread the word about these amazing people who manage to function as normally as possible while trying to swim through an ocean of pain.
I've known about this couple for a few week's at most, but they have made me realize just how good I have it. So much could go wrong in my life that isn't. I'm supremely blessed, and I thank those two for helping me to realize it.
I wish I could give something to this couple to help them feel better, something tangible that I could hand over and they could physically hold onto. As it is, I'm praying for them as hard as I can.

I have discovered a new weakness for fudge shoppe caramel filled cookies...... Curse you Keebler!!!

I went out on a limb today, and it wasn't too bad....... huh.... Interesting.

iTunes

Is wonderful when all of your music is on it. However, when your computer crashes, and you can't get the files off of your hard drive because the broken computer somehow flew out of your hands into the nearest wall..... Anyway, long story short, I can't get my old files off of my old computer to put on my new computer. This means I'm missing over 1,000 songs from my library. Those who know me know how much I love my music, and should realize just how much this upsets me. I'm kicking myself for not backing up more of my music. Luckily it's all still on my iPod because I haven't synced my new computer with it yet. Anyone have an idea how to get music off my iPod to my computer?

Computer crashes

A computer crash is fun for the following reasons:

1. The pure excitement of losing 5 years worth of information in exactly 3 seconds.
2. The exhilaration of watching your iPod's battery life slowly drain over the course of a week.
3. The wonderful tingly feeling you get in your fingertips when you want to slam it against a wall.
4. The adrenaline rush you get when you actually do slam it against a wall.
5. Having to get up two hours earlier than usual to use a computer on campus.

I recommend you all try it as soon as possible so you can all feel the same immense frustration...... I mean therapeutic cleansing...... that I've experienced these past 2 weeks.

Also, my show opens in 2 days, and nervous doesn't even BEGIN to describe me.